when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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