he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I party with great urgency now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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