I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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