Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
