Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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