So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
