He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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