i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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