well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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