I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
