i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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