Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
