I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
