that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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