we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
