It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
