I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize