"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
high people should be assigned attendants
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
