did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
