I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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