I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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