so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
