dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
