Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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