This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
