I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
