We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
