I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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