he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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