Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
