now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
