Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She is in my trunk
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
