When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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