I skipped work to stalk him.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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