it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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