After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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