I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
