When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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