HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
