i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
