:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I love having hate sex.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
