There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
