When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
