It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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