matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
