craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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