no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
