Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No subtext here. People are naked.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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