If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize