Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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