My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
