His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
