hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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