she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There r osticjed everywhere
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
