He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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