Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize