I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
