Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
